I wonder...will Chickpea or Lima Bean have your amazing blue eyes? Those eyes were so stunning. And, so surprising! Dadda and I fell in love with those blue beauties early on, and we kept waiting for them to change color as you grew older. But, by your 1-year appointment with your wonderful pediatrician, she confirmed. Yep. Those blue eyes weren't going anywhere. Oh joy! We would get to look at those peepers for years to come! In all those school pictures. Family portraits. Your wedding photos. Maybe you would pass them along to your kids. Momma loved to project far, far into the future.
Now, I am left gazing at those blue eyes frozen in time. In picture after picture. I try to erase the memory of your eyes the morning you died. Those eyes that weren't yours at all. The light and the blue had faded. They were the first indication I had that you were really gone...I couldn't find my Peanut.
Now I wonder...will I look at your little brother or sister a few months from now and see a glimmer of you? A glimmer of blue? Is that fair to wonder? To ask? I don't know...I guess time will tell.
Peanut, I miss you. I love you. To the moon and back!
- Momma
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