Tuesday, July 26, 2011

6 Months =

Peanut -

According to Google Calculator, 6 months = 182.621099 days. Or, according to some sources: 26.0887285 weeks, 4 382.90639 hours, 262 974.383 minutes, 15 778 463 seconds.

To my heart, however, 6 months feels like...forever.

It's been a hard day.  A long day.  A dreaded milestone.  And yet, it's almost over.  It's stunning to experience the unrelenting passage of time.  It marches on, oblivious of emotion, tragedy, joy.  And, somehow it does help dull the edges of the raw pain.  No, time doesn't "heal."  But it does help shift the heart, mind and soul's focus towards the love, the joy, the wonderful memories and away from the horror and pain.  

Peanut, the loss of you, your absence, still feels very unreal to me.  After 6 months, that might seem odd or strange to some people.  I honestly still have moments when I think I'm going to wake up from this nightmare and hold you again on this earth.  Because, something as wonderful, special, full of light and love as you could never be taken away from this world before truly getting to grow and spread your wings.  Right?  Wrong, Momma.  But, that's why this blog exists.  To share you and your Peanut Effect with as many people as possible.  To make your loss mean something positive.  

Tonight I'm sharing a beautiful collage of photos that span the full 16.5 months of your amazing Peanut life.  This is modeled after the card we sent out to friends and family after your Memorial Service.  It is also the gift Dadda gave me for Mother's Day.  So special.  So touching.  So amazing.  And, a very special "thank you" to Heidi Drexler for allowing us to use and share her gorgeous photos of The 'Nut.

Miss you so much, Peanut.  I love you bunches and bunches of noodles.  To the moooooooon and back.

- Momma

1 comment:

  1. My heart achsfor you and you take all the time you need and I personally don't think there is a time limit on missing someone you love and have lost especially a Momma's love it is forever !!!Your blog is amazing and so is sharing your journey as it has tuched so many lves and hepled and inspired so many people especially myself...I can't say enough how I wish you happiness,peace an moments without worry with the new Bean..remember your not alone and you have a friend ,ear and shoulder here anytime...