Thursday, July 21, 2011

Annie's Hope

Peanut -

Holy cow.  The heat is taking its toll on Momma, and about 90% of the United States.  I keep thinking about how this heat must be keeping kids inside day after day since it's dangerous to play outside, and even the swimming pools are too hot to be refreshing, or they're shut down.  I'll bet your school has had to keep everyone off the playground, and probably hasn't even been able to take walks with their neat 6-passenger buggies.  Peanut, you would be super-frustrated if you were here to experience this heat wave.

In the midst of this heat, and at the end of a long day at work, we went to one of our first family support groups this evening, hosted and facilitated by an amazing St. Louis-based group named Annie's Hope -  It is exhausting and exhilarating to be surrounded by people who have experienced significant loss.  We all speak a very similar language, share a need for safe people and places, and understand that we are no longer "whole."  We are healing, but scarred.  Changed people, trying to discover the new individuals we are becoming on a daily basis.

Peanut, we displayed your collage of pictures on a special tribute/memory table and I had the opportunity to share your photos with other moms who "get it."  We got to talk about you a bit, and listen to how others are coping.  But, more than anything, we met another facet of the new community, the tragic club, we became members of on January 26.

Momma got to cry some Peanut tears in public and also share some laughs.  It feels good to talk about you...I think you were listening.  After the meeting we came home to find two froggies hanging out on the kitchen window, and they made me smile.  Two froggies - one to represent each of your very special froggies who sit so lonely in your bedroom.  I know they miss you, just like Momma.  We mis and love you - to the moon and back!

- Momma

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