I was planning to write you a letter tonight about so many different topics...but then I saw a message in my e-mail Inbox. It was from the SUDC parent's support group, announcing a new video titled, "Faces of SUDC." My brain instantly remembered sending in a picture of you for this tribute video. Hey! Peanut is in this! Pay attention, Momma!
Sure enough, in the fourth minute of this five minute video - minute 4:11 to be exact - there you are. Connor from Missouri. My Peanut. Surrounded by five minutes of other vibrant, smiling, beautiful children. Children who died without a known cause. Without reason. No known means of warning or prevention. SUDC.
I watch this video and see names who have become so familiar to me. I've gotten to know many of their parents - through their postings to the support group site, e-mail conversations, or phones calls and lunch dates with those close to home. A community of parents who have survived a loss quite like no other. A community of parents who have joined forces to support each other, share fears, celebrate accomplishments, and who are trying to raise awareness.
Peanut, I share this video tonight in tribute to you, the other children of SUDC and this amazing group of parents, volunteers and advocates.
Readers, if you are looking for a cause to support or share, please consider forwarding this link. As of today, there is no government funding of research for SUDC. This must change. How can the world afford to lose another Peanut?
Watching this video has brought a bittersweet smile to my face. I am so glad it exists to raise awareness. But, I hate that we are a part of it. Actually, I hate the reason we are a part of it. I wish I could instead watch that smiling face grow to be a boy, a teenager, a young man, a husband and a father. I wish...
Peanut, I miss you. I love you. So, so, so much. To the moon and back.