I was given the gift of rediscovering a memory of you today. Is that possible? Can you lose a memory? Or, maybe it's just that it was buried. Put away for safekeeping until Momma's brain could follow a treasure map that would lead her to the chest of gold.
A co-worker was telling me about her 2-year old daughter's mischievous deeds specifically relating to their home office and highlighters. Yeah. Highlighters. Think - walls, floors, any touchable surface. Fortunately, this mom caught her daughter in the act before any damage was done which, of course, elicited all sorts of funny, delightful denials and reactions from her little girl.
And, without warning...POP! A memory. Of you. Holy cannoli....where did THAT come from?!
Peanut, you were just old enough to know when you were doing something we wouldn't love. Something just a little naughty. Something just bad enough to be absolutely hilarious. Mostly, this involved dismantling stuff in your room. So, you would either sneak into your room quietly, or you would truck in there and slam the door. The sneaking was when I got worried. You would creep in there, and then peak your head around the door every few seconds. "Is she looking?" <sneak back into the room then back to the door> "Is she looking?" <duck away, giggling>
At this point, I would come around to check on you. Of course, you were up to...Nothing Good.
I'll never forget finding every item from the floor of your closet tossed across the room. Why? To create a Super Secret Peanut Clubhouse inside the closet. Just for you. You had no use for all that STUFF. You needed the space!
I love, love, love that memory. What a gift. I'm laughing as I write this, so thankful that I have found this moment. I wonder? Is it just that I'm old and my memory is failing? Is it the grief? Is this normal? Will I find more new memories? I hope so. I believe so.
Maybe this time around I'll leave the closet floor open for your little brother. Can you show him what to do with all that space? Maybe you two can have a Secret Club!
Thanks for the memory, my sweet, kissable little man. I love you soooooooooooo much, Peanut. To the moon - and back!