Exactly 1-year ago, Dadda and I coated you in sunblock, popped you into a swim diaper, and spent part of the morning splashing around in the pool with you. Actually, Dadda swam with you while I sat on the pool deck snapping pictures and videos. July 10, 2010. What a sunny, happy day. What a difference a year makes.
Rather than indulge the tears that seem so persistent today, I am trying my hardest to think back on that day with a smile. I had totally forgotten how exhausted you were by the end of our Peanut Swimfest until I watched the videos today...you were such a trooper! Poor little 'Nut, stuck in your floaty, rubbing your eyes, waiting for us to get the clue!
I am thankful for these pictures. These memories. In the midst of a day when I feel like my heart has been torn into millions of pieces, when it hurts to breathe, and when I struggle to think of a future without you, these pictures remind me to smile.
Missing you terribly tonight. More and more every day. I love you sooooooo much, Peanut. To the moon and back.