Sunday, July 10, 2011

Peanut The Swimmer

Peanut -

Exactly 1-year ago, Dadda and I coated you in sunblock, popped you into a swim diaper, and spent part of the morning splashing around in the pool with you.  Actually, Dadda swam with you while I sat on the pool deck snapping pictures and videos.  July 10, 2010.  What a sunny, happy day.  What a difference a year makes.

Rather than indulge the tears that seem so persistent today, I am trying my hardest to think back on that day with a smile.  I had totally forgotten how exhausted you were by the end of our Peanut Swimfest until I watched the videos today...you were such a trooper!  Poor little 'Nut, stuck in your floaty, rubbing your eyes, waiting for us to get the clue!

I am thankful for these pictures.  These memories.  In the midst of a day when I feel like my heart has been torn into millions of pieces, when it hurts to breathe, and when I struggle to think of a future without you, these pictures remind me to smile.

Missing you terribly tonight.  More and more every day.  I love you sooooooo much, Peanut.  To the moon and back.

- Momma

video

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