Poems for Peanut

Peanut -

I've been thinking a lot this week about the "circle of life." In particular, the huge hole you have left in my heart, and in our family.  How we might possibly begin to heal that hole, while always remembering and cherishing you...making your legacy part of the fabric, the canvas, of our future family.  What will my reunion with you be like when we meet in heaven?  Who will be there?  What will you know?  Will you have lived every day with us as if you were here?  It's interesting.  Since your loss, my view of the future and the afterlife is so altered.  The fear is gone. There is now an element of anticipation.  Odd?  I'm not sure.

I'm sharing two very similar poems that have found their way to me several times over the last 5 months. I have found both very meaningful, helpful.  We actually received a lovely frame with the second poem, The Broken Chain, and one of our favorite pics of you as a gift at your Memorial Service.  It now sits in the kitchen as a constant reminder of your love, grins and memories.

I Only Wanted You
Author: Anonymous

They say memories are golden, well, maybe that is true.
I never wanted memories, I only wanted you,
A million times I've cried.
If love alone could have saved you, you never would have died.
In life I loved you dearly, in death I love you still.
In my heart you hold a place no one else could fill.
If tears could build a stairway and heartache make a lane.
I'd walk the path to Heaven and bring you back again.
Our family chain is broken, and nothing seems the same.
But as God calls us back one by one, the chain will link again. 

The Broken Chain
Author: Ron Tranmer

We little knew that day,
God was going to call your name.
In life we loved you dearly,
In death, we do the same.

It broke our hearts to lose you.
You did not go alone.
For part of us went with you,
The day God called you home.

You left us beautiful memories,
Your love is still our guide.
And although we cannot see you,
You are always at our side.

Our family chain is broken,
And nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one,
The chain will link again.

Peanut, I hope you understand the peace I find in these poems.  And, I hope they bring comfort to someone else who might be looking for a little support in words.  Knowing I will see you again, and will continue to feel and experience you via signs and nature, eases my heart and soul.  

I now say farewell to this day, and send a huge kiss to heaven for you - MMMMWWWWWAAAAAAAHH!  I love you sooooo much, Peanut.  How much?  Guess.  Yep, that's right.  To the mooooon and back!

-Momma