Thursday, June 9, 2011

Neck Nuzzles

Peanut -

One of my very favorite ways to shower love on you was to pepper your soft, sweet little neck with hundreds of Momma Kisses.  You would see me moving in, and immediately giggle.  Then I'd start to give you all sorts of kisses - MWAH! MWAH! MWAH! - and you would break into peals of laughter.  And your laugh...oh, it was infectious.  By the time I was done, you would have your head thrown back in non-stop giggles, I would be doubled-over laughing, and anyone else in the room would be glowing.

The same thing used to happen when Dadda would tickle you under your chin, on your feet, or across your little tummy.  Or, when he would swing you upside down.  I could be anywhere in the house, and I'd hear that musical, magical laughter.  I truly understand the power behind the phrase, "The day the music died" now.  Our house is so very lonely and quiet without your laugh.

I was looking back at some of our older pictures this evening, and saw a whole series from when you truly discovered your adorable laugh.  It was so amazing, so beautiful, that Dadda and I took a few HUNDRED pictures.  Seriously.  I'm sharing two tonight that are so "Peanut."  They're from February of 2010, when you were 5 months old.  And, already I can see your funny, happy personality shining through.

Peanut, I've missed you a lot this week.  And, I've talked about you a ton.  It feels good to talk about you.  It seems to keep you alive.  I also finished a Very Important Letter today, with the help of SUDC.  It's the letter I'm going to send to St. Louis County Executive Charlie Dooley regarding the awful treatment we received from Dr. Mary Case and her Medical Examiner's Office.  It's been a hard letter to write, but it feels good - really good - to know it will be sent and will hopefully create some action.  I'm debating posting a template of the letter to this blog, in case anyone wants to join my letter-writing campaign.  Readers, if that would interest you please either drop me a line, hit the +1 button below (I can't figure out any other use for it!) or post a comment.

Peanut, I'm working hard to make you proud.  And to show you that we will live and love in honor of you and your beautiful presence in our lives.  My sweet, amazing boy.  I love the moon and back!

- Momma


  1. Lynn,

    Would love to support the "campaign", whatever it takes. No one should endure that kind of treatment in a time like that or anytime for that matter. Let me know what kind of support is needed for action to be taken.

  2. Would love to help let me know what I can do you dwserve better and should not have had to go through that during your loss!!

  3. I would also support you in your efforts....Thaedra

  4. Yes Lynn, count me in. I will do anything I can, and I know my family and friends will want to help as well.

    Much love to you dear.

  5. Lynn, I would be happy to do anything to help. Just let me know what to do and I will.


  6. Let me know what we can do for you.
    Jen Grable

  7. Lynn, I am a friend of Dru's and she shared your blog with me. I first must say, you are a brave soul and you are honoring those 500 special days in the most profound way. I, too, lost a child after only a few short weeks of life and can only imagine a small piece of what you must feel. I read "Guess How Much I Love You" to her every single day of her short life. I cry with sadness, joy and inspiration when I read these tributes to your little Peanut. Stay connected to each treasured memory in every way you can. Fight his cause and yours. You are gifted by his touch on your soul. Blog on! I am sending letters...Dooley.
    All my prayers.