I had a visit from you and some of your buddies last night. It was that wonderful moment in time, between dusk and dark, when the cicadas are out in full voice. I was in the side yard with Henry the Puppy, checking on your Special Peanut Tree and I saw you. In the form of lightning bugs. The first ones I've seen this season. There was a small group of you, playing around Your Tree, obviously having a wonderful time. There were no other lightning bugs anywhere else in the yard...just your little playgroup zooming around showing off your tail-lights. And all I could think was "Lightning Tag!" And I smiled.
This has been a trying, exhausting week for Momma. I've been getting fully re-engaged at the office which means encountering a LOT of people every single day. People who haven't seen me since January. Every day has been filled with questions, concern, some fear and trepidation, but overall an overwhelming amount of love and care. Still, I'm relieved to be working remotely tomorrow. I need some space to breathe. Because even when I'm fully connected to work, busy in the middle of the day, surrounded by co-workers, you sneak up on me in the form of powerful images, memories and tears.
Peanut, I've sure been missing you a lot this week. I miss your hands in my hair, touching my face, playing with my eyelashes. I miss watching you study my face while I gaze at you in amazement...you were my little boy. You represented the best parts of me. You still do. I love you so very, very much. To the moooooon and back!