Sunday, May 1, 2011

St. Peanut

To my darling Peanut -

You are my little miracle worker.  Thank you for your acts of love, hugs and kindness and for making Momma re-prioritize.  In your 16.5 months on this earth, you showed me how to open my heart, embrace every moment and love without expectation or condition.

Today could have been a bitter day.  And it did start with tears.  But your love filled me via friends, family, strangers and signs.  I truly believe you are an old soul that was sent to this earth to change me, change us and change the world.  Your 16.5 months were filled with purpose, and my time left here will be to continue your purpose.  Love.  Family.  Hugs.  Smiles.

I now know that everyone I meet has a story.  People carry more than you can ever know.  The person with 50 items in the Express Line at the grocery store, the driver who just cut me's just different.  With purpose, I choose to give grace.

You used to gaze into my eyes with such emotion.  I didn't really reflect back on that until we lost you.  But now I were connecting with my soul.  It's part of what has made this loss so powerful, because you are so linked to my heart and soul.  It's also what has made the journey ahead seem positive - hopeful.

I'm sharing a photo tonight that (I think) captures the essence of Peanut.  I laughed when I first saw it because you seemed so old and wise, at 3-months.  Now, it explains everything.

I love you, my Little Nutbrown Hare.  To the moon and back.
- Momma


  1. Lovely. One of your best Peanut pieces. kristan dames

  2. I have never met you. I came across your blog via Facebook a week ago and have been an avid reader ever since. Your love, your inspiration and your heartache are truly palpable and moving. Thank you for letting me into a glimpse of your life and teaching me so much about love, motherhood and unconditional love. I have been blessed to read your words of love to Peanut.

  3. Lynn, thank you! You are amazing. Peanut and your words have changed me as well. I believe it has made me become a better mother and more patient. You are so strong and inspiring. I know that Peanut is watching you and is so proud of his Mamma!! Love you!! - Kimberly

  4. Lynn,

    Thank you again for sharing Peanut. You are a wonderful mother and the epitome of grace. This picture, my gosh, he looks like an angel from Heaven.