Sunday, May 22, 2011

Special Purpose Peanut


We had a visit this weekend from two of my very favorite little girls, who just happen to be one of my best friend's daughters.  They came out to deliver some beautiful flowers, run around in our ginormous yard and play with Henry the Puppy.  But, the most unexpected thing happened.  They noticed you.  More specifically, they noticed your adorable pictures and were intrigued.  They are far too young to understand subjects like death and loss.  So, it made no sense to them that they saw your picture and immediately knew you were my little boy, but they couldn't meet or play with you.  Here's how it went down (sort of):

Little Girl #1: "So, I saw your little boy."
Little Girl #2: "Yeah, you have a little boy."
Little Girl #1: "Where is he?  Can we meet him?"
<Me looking at their Mom, who silently tells me this is one subject they haven't approached, and us both shaking our heads over what to say.>
Me: "Well, yes, I do have a little boy.  His name is Connor and he is a very, very special little boy.  He came to stay with us for a little while so he could take care of some important stuff.  But, he had to leave to go visit a new place where I'm going to meet him in the future."
Little Girl #1: "Will we get to meet him there too?"
Me: "Yes, I bet you will.  But, that won't be for a long, long time."
Little Girl #1: "Oh, that's too bad."
Little Girl #2: "Yeah."
Me: "It's OK.  Until then we have loads and loads of pictures and stories and we can talk about him and laugh all the time.  Sound good?"
Little Girls #1 and #2: "Yep!"
<And, at this moment a large, beautiful black and blue butterfly appeared, distracting both little girls.  I silently cried, "Hi Peanut!">

So, not perfect, but I think I did OK.  Maybe?  I've tried to anticipate all the questions that might come up, to have my answers prepped. But, I didn't see this one coming from a million miles away.  Peanut, it's for these friends, family and acquaintances that I write this blog, share pictures and preserve memories.  So, in a small way, they'll get to know you like Momma and Dadda knew you.  And your Peanut Purpose will continue to live on, even in death.

I'm sharing a picture from your 1-year photo shoot with Heidi.  This photo captures every bit of joy I felt when we were together.  The look on your face says it all.  Oh Peanut, I miss and love you - to the moon and back.

- Momma


  1. What a great picture!!I think you did a wonderful job explaining a difficult subject!!Your awesome and inspiring as always...