Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Tuesday night love

Peanut -

Three months.  It's been that many Tuesday nights since I felt your last hug.  Your last "Momma...."  Your last grasp of my hair and breath in my ear.  My brain had difficulty processing the reality of our situation today.  Surely this isn't really happening to us.  You aren't really gone.  I will wake up and this nightmare will be just that - a nightmare.  But...then it sets in...just breathe.  Keep breathing.  Survive.

Nature has been so in tune with my soul since we lost you.  Storms, pounding hail, 20 degree temperature changes, all in one evening.  But, around the bend I know there is sunshine and warmth.  No, maybe I don't know...I believe.

I'm choosing to remember you tonight via a picture taken the day we brought you home from the hospital.  You were so little bitty.  But, you were MY Peanut.  The child I had dreamed about for years, and worked so hard to have.  I looked at you and saw the future.  You changed everything.  I will not let that go.

Sweet, sweet Peanut.  I love you to the moon and back.
- Momma


  1. Absolutely beautiful photo and you can see the love going both ways. I hope you do find that warmth and some peace. Keep doing what you are doing with your words because your story is reaching so many.

  2. What A beautiful moment and picture as always thank you for your beautiful words you touch my heart and I hope it comforts you and helps you find some peace as you are doing for me...


  3. 3 most important days in your life; the day you and Shaun were married, the day Connor Patrick was born, and the day you brought Connor home. God blessed you immensely on those days, and He will continue to do so.