Thursday, April 28, 2011

Rainbow Slides for Peanut

Peanut -

Today was a day filled with joyful, positive signs from you.  Everything from special songs, to unexpected butterflies, to brilliant double rainbows emerging from the clouds.  And, in the midst of it all, I felt a sense of hope about the future.

There is still the overwhelming sense of loss and emptiness over everything we won't get to experience with you - everything YOU won't get to do - but a new map of the future is emerging...and I know you will still be very much a part of it, watching us and touching us with your signs of love.

I've included images of the rainbows from this evening, but the pictures don't even begin to do justice to their beauty.  I felt the glow of your Peanut smile in them, and imagined you sliding down side full of laughter just like you used to do on your special Little Tykes play-set slide.  That slide was your favorite place to sit, climb, watch TV and just hang out.  We never realized how brave it made you until Grandma and Grandpa took you to buy your super cool Stride Rite shoes at Laurie's Shoes.  They have a "big kid" slide in the store that runs from the children's area to the main floor.  Before they could stop you, Grandma and Grandpa watched you dart across the platform to the slide and ZOOM! down you went.  Ta da!  They went from horror and fear to peals of laughter in an instant.  I'm so glad they have that very special memory of you.  A memory they shared and I had almost forgotten until I saw your rainbows tonight.

I love you my sweet, awesome, brilliant Peanut.  To the moon and back.
- Momma

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