The Peanut Touch

Peanut -

When I got into work this morning, I was greeted by an e-mail that brought a smile to my heart.  It was from someone who recently suffered her own personal loss, and has come across this blog.  She's been following it, and has found a measure of comfort through sharing in our stories, memories and pictures.

Later in the day I received a message from someone else who has found support through this forum and wanted to offer some support back to our family.  These e-mails and notes are so appreciated, welcomed and meaningful because they help me feel like we are honoring your very special, but far too short, life.  It is my hope that you will touch lives on a daily basis and these stories will keep you alive in our minds and hearts.

At work today someone commented on how long my hair has gotten, and I realized I've been letting it grow for you.  You loved to sit on my lap, facing me, and cover your face with my hair.  It absolutely delighted you, and I suspect you thought I couldn't see you.  Peek-a-boo was pretty much the BEST game, and is actually what you're doing in the banner photo for this blog.  You also really liked to chew on my hair.  So, most days I walked around with "crunchy" hair...oh, I miss that.  Sometimes I imagine you visiting me while I sleep, grasping my hair with your little fists, covering your face and laughing your ginormous Peanut-laugh.  That thought brings me a lot of joy.

I've included a photo from Christmas 2009, right after you received a fuzzy puppy dog from Grandma and Grandpa.  It played music, but that was really secondary to you.  It went straight into your mouth, and there it went every day for weeks.  These early photos of you are so touching to look back on because I can already see your little personality emerging.

I love and miss you soooo much it makes my heart hurt.  To the moon and back, Peanut.
- Momma