Friday, August 5, 2011

Words - Even Incoherent Ones - Hurt

Peanut -

Over the last day or so, Momma became the target of one very troubled individual's rants and rage.  And, rather than direct his anger to me directly, this person has chosen to direct it to me via very hurtful, inappropriate comments about you...my Peanut, my Angel...and the tragic circumstances around your death.

Over the last 5 months, Momma has found solace, peace and support in this public forum.  Sharing my thoughts, tears, fears, smiles and grief has been so very therapeutic.  And, the readers of this blog (and the related posts on Facebook) have been so lovely, so comforting.  My community of support.

But now, regardless of how unstable the individual or incoherent the words, the power of this hurt can't be removed.  It feels as if the purity of my grief has been tainted, and I'm not sure how to process that hurt.

I am taking a pause this evening to decide...what do I do?  The rage from this person originated on FB because I declined a very vulgar "friend request" from someone I don't even know.  But, it has now spread and is breathing a life of its own.  Directly opposed to everything this blog is about.

Peanut, I love you so very much.  Too much to allow this stranger to drop his poison into our well.  So, I sign off for now with a new brand of pain in my heart.  Oh....my Peanut.  I love you, I love you, I love you - to the mooooon and back.

- Momma

4 comments:

  1. I am so sorry this happened to you Lynn. Some people suck. You have so much love and support out here.
    xo
    Polly

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  2. You are an amazing woman! Don't let anyone make you think otherwise. Peanut was (and is) so lucky to have you as his mother. Even though I have never met you or your family, please know that you have support from many!
    - Karen

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  3. I hope you don't let the words of one very hurtful person stop you from sharing your wonderful Peanut and journey with others and all of us...WE all you friends support and love you dearly and I am sure speaking for not just myself deeply sadened and angered that this happened....Your truly a beautiful soul and the Best Angel Momma...
    Stefanie

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  4. I know some people who know some people;-)... Hang in there, Lynn; love surrounds you even where you would never expect it. I once heard some valuable advice: "Remember, every day and every where, someone is looking to steal your joy....don't let them." Your grief process is slowly turning to joy, whether you see it or not, the memory of Peanut is showing you the joy of life and living and it is spreading joy to a huge community of family and friends. Take care, protect your joy and the new joy growing from within. Love, and lots of it-Stephanie P.

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