Peanut Vacation...Without Peanut

Peanut -

I've been busy getting everything ready this evening for me and Dadda to leave for a week of vacation tomorrow morning.  While I am so ready for some time away, this vacation is terribly bittersweet.  This is the end-of-summer family vacation we planned at the close of last summer.  The rooms were booked, the week was planned - all around you, Peanut.

We took this same vacation last summer, but a week later - the week after Labor Day.  This is a vacation Momma's family takes every year, but last year was the first with a child - The Peanut - and we all viewed it through new, kid-friendly eyes.  The vacation spot - Big Cedar Lodge - is set in the mountains, right on a large, beautiful lake.  As a family we have always enjoyed spending time on the lake, boating, fishing, hiking but we never paid attention to all the amazing activities designed for kids.  In particular the week BEFORE Labor Day.  So, last year we decided to bump our timing up by a week so you, Peanut, could participate in the kid-focused fun.

Now, we will be there surrounded by families, kids and reminders of everything you were supposed to do during this week.  I anticipate it will be sad, painful, difficult...but also a time for reflection and remembrance.  Dadda and I have already started sharing everything we remember about the drive to Big Cedar with you last year.  From your first-ever trip to McDonald's to the incredibly long, involved grocery store stop where the employees were required to help us take our bags out to the car.

It is likely that many of this week's postings will be centered around stories and memories from last year's trip.  Some sad, I'm sure, but most full of joyful, funny Peanutisms.   Oh, my adorable, sweet son, how I wish you were here getting ready to take a big car trip for a week of fun, sun and play.  I wish I was busy packing up your clothes, toys and snacks.  I wish in the midst of the frenetic packing activity, I was able to poke my head into your room to watch you dreaming, to lean down and smell you, kiss you, touch you.  Love you.  Instead, I am left to sending you all my love via these words, my dreams, my tears...and they are all endless.  To the moon and back.

- Momma