Monday, August 8, 2011

A Brief Life Is Not An Incomplete Life. (Or, Is It?)

Peanut -

I saw this quote today via The Compassionate Friends page on Facebook.  It generated a lot of discussion, debate and emotion.  For me, it simply brings up a lot of questions.  I'm honestly not sure how I feel about the quote as it pertains to you and your much, much, much too brief time on this earth.  But, here's where I think I've landed.

Do I feel your brief life was incomplete?  Yes and no.  Because I truly believe you are still here with us, watching over us and impacting our actions on a daily basis, I do not feel your life is incomplete.  Your life is ongoing, forever creating ripples...The Peanut Effect.  When I hear stories about the moms and dads who exercise more patience in the midst of a silly argument, who spend more time with their families in the evenings, who share extra hugs and "I love yous" because of my Peanut, I know your life is eternal, everlasting.

But, was your potential on this earth unrealized?  Yes.  I think about the plans, the hopes, the dreams we had for you.  The dreams we had to release to the skies after your death, like the butterflies who keep circling our home.  You were going to play ice hockey.  And play the guitar.  And speak multiple languages.  And graduate from Stanford.  And get married and have kids of your own.  You were going to spread that sunshine smile of yours across the world, and make it a better place.  This world who absolutely needs more beautiful souls, like yours.

So, I now work to make sure your life is not viewed as incomplete.  To make sure you DO continue to make this world a better place.  And to make you proud.  That is what gets me up every morning.  It is what gives me the drive to continue to live.  To have hope.  For you, my Peanut.  My beloved, amazing little boy.  Who I miss sooooooo terribly.  And, who I love - to the moon and back.

- Momma


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