Sunday, August 28, 2011

Cartoons with Dadda

Peanut -

Dadda and I were laughing tonight about what our vacation sleeping arrangements would have been this week if you were here with us.  Over the weekends, when we were home with you, you and Dadda would always get up really early, and you'd let Momma sleep in a bit.  Those early mornings were your special snuggle time, and, even if I was wide awake, I never intruded on it.  Dadda would bundle the two of you under a blanket on the couch, and he'd turn on all the recorded episodes of Handy Manny from the past week.  Sometimes you guys would make it through the shows, sometimes you would take a nice morning nap together.  I so regret I never snapped a picture of that special, sweet early-morning moment.

If you were here this week, I know the two of you would re-create those morning cartoon sessions.  You would leave Momma in the dark bedroom, sneak into the sitting room, and watch Disney cartoons while snacking on bananas and Cheerios.  Eventually I would come out to join you guys, and I know I would be greeted by a giant Peanut smile, excited claps and a hug.  I miss those hugs, smiles, and claps.

We have found so much comfort - so much joy - in the projected thoughts of what you would be enjoying on this vacation, and what we would (should) be doing with you.  I'm thankful I can still picture you as you would be today, in this moment.  I am so afraid of what happens a year or two from now.  When I can't imagine Peanut at 4 years old.  Or 8 or 10 years old.  Who knows, maybe my imagination will take care of that for me?  Maybe I will create the picture of you growing up along with us, as time moves forward?

Peanut, just know you are with us in every moment of this vacation.  Dadda and I miss you sooooooo much, but the memories and stories this week have been wonderful.  We are both sending you our hearts and the moon and back!

- Momma

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