Happy 2nd Birthday

Peanut -

Facebook has an interesting newish feature that pops up every once in a while.  It shows your posts "On This Day Last Year" or "On This Day in 2009." This morning it showed me the overjoyed post I shared the evening of September 12, 2009, just a few hours after you were born:
"Please help us welcome the world's best, most adorable gift into the world. Connor Patrick Mulholland was born at 6:50 pm today. 19 inches, 5 lbs 1 oz., with lots of blond hair!"

I will always remember every single detail of that day.  The morning started with what Momma thought might just be cramps.  Uncomfortable enough that I called Aunt Dru and asked to change the location for our scheduled pedicures so I could be closer to home and our delivery hospital...just in case.  I made it through the pedicure, but called a friend while driving home to ask, "How did you know you were in labor?"  Her response, "If you're asking that question, you're probably in labor!"

Momma got home, took a quick shower, and started timing the cramps which quickly evolved into full contractions.  By the time Dadda got home from a morning football game, it was time to get ready to leave for the hospital.  Of course, he had to shave, take a shower, and generally putz around until I informed him the contractions were less 5 minutes apart!  It was approximately 12:30pm.

We hit EVERY red light on the way to the hospital.  I was so worried we might have to deliver you on the road, in an ambulance.  But, we made it! The admitting nurse took one look at Momma and said, "Yep.  My predication record is 100% accurate.  You're having a baby today!"  Sure enough, we were already 6 centimeters dilated.

The hospital rushed to get the epidural started, but we wound up needing two - yes, two - epidurals since the first only worked on Momma's right side.  At this point it was around 2:00 pm, and we proceeded to watch the Cardinals game for the next few hours.  Dadda, after watching all the frightening videos during the childbirth classes, was prepared for a sweaty, angry, screaming Momma.  Instead, he got a very happy but nervous Momma...thanks in large part to the epidurals!

Late in the afternoon, the nurses worked with Momma to get you turned around, since you were facing the wrong way for delivery.  To do that, it literally took a village to get Momma up on her hands and knees on the hospital bed.  The nurses were able to get you readjusted without too much drama, and we were ready to get serious about delivering you.

At 6:00 pm, the doctor confirmed we were fully dilated and it was time to get started.  At 6:15 pm she broke Momma's water, and by 6:20 pm we were ready to push.  After a few big pushes and a little assistance from the doctor...TA DA!  We were able to see our amazing little boy...Connor Patrick.  One of the delivery nurses immediately declared, "Oh look!  He's just a little Peanut!" And, in that moment, your nickname was born.

Parents never imagine on the day their child is born that it won't be forever.  That somehow they might lose that precious little life.  That the universe will break every rule, and will take that child prematurely.  A parent should never outlive their child.  Parents should never have to celebrate that joyful birthdate without their child...to instead mark it as a yet another year they will not get to spend watching the child grow, thrive.

But, that is our reality.

So, today Momma looks back on the joyful memories.  And remembers the best day of her life...the first day I got to hold you.  My Peanut.  My heart.  Happy birthday, Peanut.  I hope you have balloons and cake and a giant Peanut-style party in heaven today!

I love you - to the moon and back.
- Momma