Monday, January 2, 2012

Peanut and The Bean

Peanut -

The arrival of 2012 has brought with it the overwhelming anticipation of your little brother's birth.  While he isn't due for two more weeks, it really could be any day now - especially since the contractions have picked up in terms of duration and frequency.

Your 1st Angel Anniversary is also approaching on January 26, but Momma is choosing to focus more on the legacy of your beautiful life, instead of the horror of that date.  That day will mark "the last of the firsts" in many ways, but you are still so present in our hearts and minds...I refuse to consider that you aren't an integral part of every piece of every day.

I suspect when your little brother arrives, we will feel your presence surrounding us in surprising, unexpected ways.  The fact that we confirmed this pregnancy Mother's Day weekend, and his birth date is so close to your Angel Date - it all feels very significant.  Your little brother is the blessing we had never planned, the second child I never thought I could or would conceive, and the child who is helping us remember how much joy we found as parents - Peanut's parents.

This weekend, as we welcomed 2012 on an unseasonably warm day, Dadda and I decided to take a few pictures.  Pictures that are meaningful to us, because they include BOTH you and The Bean.  These are the beginning of what should hopefully be a lifetime of Peanut and Bean pictures.  These will never be "normal" family pictures, because you won't physically be sitting in the frame, but your spirit, your smile, your froggies, your sunshine will infuse our family pictures forever.

And, let's face it, we will never be a "normal" family again.  We will always be a family who survived the worst loss.  A family who was blessed to be touched by your amazing, boundless love.  A family who will always feel the glow of your beautiful smile.  A family who has been at the center of The Peanut Effect.  A family made better because of you.

Peanut, you are going to be the best Angel Brother ever.  You already are.  I love you, my wonderful, beautiful, amazing little son.  My son who taught me how to be a Momma and how to love.  To the moon and back!

- Momma

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