Thursday, January 12, 2012


Peanut -

As Momma ended maternity leave back in 2010, after being home with you through the holidays, we had to settle on a pretty structured morning routine to get everyone up, fed and out the door on time.  Certain things didn't even need to be discussed - we knew an evening bath routine was out of the question.  Other items figured themselves out - Dadda would feed you breakfast while Momma got her shower out of the way.  But, once we had a routine, it worked.  And, it was wonderful.  I miss that routine, and the delightful little insights it gave me into you, Dadda and your very special relationship.

Every other morning was deemed "Shower Morning" for you, 'Nut.  Unless, of course, there was some sort of unplanned diaper blowout that made an off-schedule shower or bath necessary.  On Shower Mornings, Dadda would pick out your school outfit, get you fed, then bring you into our bedroom as Momma wrapped up her shower/blow-dry routine.  I would get your towel, brush, diaper cream, and lotion set-up on the bed while you played in the pack-n-play and Dadda grabbed his own shower.  A few minutes in, you would always have a crazy diaper event, then I would pull your diaper off, give you a little clean-up and hustle you into the shower with Dadda.

Watching you two in the shower was hilarious and sweet.  Dadda, a former football guy and gentle giant at 6 ft 3 in, and the wee Peanut with your slight build and squirmy could be a battle of size over slick sometimes!  Dadda would get you all soapy with bubbles from head to toe, while you enjoyed the shower spray on your back.  Then, when it was time, he would start the countdown:
- your little legs would start to pump up and down -
- you would start your "Oh! Oh! Oh!" ecstatic grunts -
- and under the waterfall you would go! -

I always watched this whole show play out in reverse, in my bathroom mirror while I finished getting ready for work.  Peanut, you figured out early on that you could watch me right back in that mirror, so at the end of your shower I would catch you spying on me, waiting to catch Momma break into laughter.  Without fail, I rewarded you with that laugh and a giant smile.

My favorite moment was when I would scoop your dripping wet little body out of Dadda's arms and into a big, red, fluffy Elmo towel, or your light blue Cow towel.  I would wrap you up, put the Elmo hood on your head, and breathe you in while smothering you with kisses.  Time stood still in that exact moment.

We would then break into high gear, getting you lotioned, diapered, dressed, combed, and ready for school.  It was then the mad dash out the door, always capped off with a kiss for Dadda before you and I drove off for the day.

That was our life.  It was wonderful.  It wasn't "perfect" was.  I miss the routine desperately, but know we are about to re-enter that world with The Bean.  Will it be confusing to hear Dadda's "One...Two...THREEEE" with another smiling little boy?  Perhaps.  But, will it make my heart glow again?  I think so.  Because, you will be there with us ever step of the way, Peanut.

I love you soooooo much, 'Nut.  You've been in my mind every second of every minute of every day.  Always.  Sending you Momma love, dreams and kisses - to the moon and back!

- Momma

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