Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Music Messages

Peanut -

Last night one of your very special, amazing teachers posted a note on Momma's Facebook Timeline.  She turned on her car radio yesterday afternoon and immediately heard one of your favorite songs, "Chicken Fried" by the Zac Brown Band.  For her, it was not only the first time she'd stumbled across it in a while, but it was one of the first times since your death she was able to listen to it with a smile...full of joyful memories of you dancing.

I loved that post, and thought about all the wonderful moments you and I spent dancing together throughout the evening.  Then, this morning as I was pulling out of the driveway for work the first song picked at random by my iPod was..."Chicken Fried."  I burst into tears and laughter all at once, and glanced in my rearview mirror, thinking I just might see you grinning at me from the backseat.  I repeated the song three more times during the drive in to the office, singing, crying, laughing.  The Bean kicked and turned somersaults as if he wanted to join the party too.  What a way to kick off the day!

Peanut, I believe these little messages are from you.  You are gently reminding us of the 500 days of happy, wonderful moments we were blessed to spend with you.  Reminding us to remember you with smiles and laughter.  Helping to lighten and heal our hearts.

Tonight I am re-sharing the movie Dadda and I made over the Christmas holiday.  This movie was incredibly emotional, painful, heart-wrenching, joyful, and inspirational to create.  It was impossible to watch the movie without tears of first.  But now I watch it with tears of joy, and catch myself laughing as I remember the stories behind the pictures.  I treasure these memories, this brief history of you, and the amazing gift of your life.  Your light.  Your Peanut Touch.

My sweet, beautiful, handsome, joyful, musical, brilliant Peanut.  My son.  My heart.  I miss you and love you sooooooo very much - to the moon and back!

- Momma

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