Tuesday, July 24, 2012

The Art of Remembering

Peanut -

Lately Momma has begun to worry...what if I forget you?  What if I find myself forgetting how tightly you would hug me, right around my neck, while you bounced up and down and up and down?  What if I forget the feel of your warm, sweet breath on my cheeks while you played with my eyelashes, full of awe and wonder?  What if, what if, what if...

Then, today, the SUDC Facebook page posted the following little article and it spoke to me.  So much that I needed to share it tonight, to reinforce and remind me...this is why I created this blog.  This is why I write you these letters.  This is why I still feel you every moment of every day.  This is why I will continue to write to you as long as I'm on this earth, and able to write, to speak, to remember.

Sending you all my love...right up to the moon - and back!
- Momma

How to Move Through Grief and Never Forget Your Child...EVER

The grief of losing a child of any age is the worst grief there is. No parent should have to bury their own child. If you are reading this then the chances are you have lost a child or know someone who has.

I lost my daughter, Holly, when she was 5 months of age to SIDS. 

We all need help dealing with grief. Coping with the loss of a baby or a child of any age is the toughest thing we have to get through. 

The biggest fear I had as I started my journey through grief was that she would be forgotten. By me, my family and my friends. 

I now know that forgetting your child is the biggest fear parents have. 

Would you like to know how to start moving through your grief knowing you will never forget your child, ever? If you follow, learn and use the techniques that I am about to show you, youʼll avoid ever forgetting your child. And so will your family and friends. 

By learning and using these ideas I am about to show you, you will start to move through your grief and pain to a place of inspiration, where you will be healthy, inspired and at peace. 

Does that sound like a great thing to learn? 

How would it feel to wake up every morning feeling inspired and know that your child is looking after you all the time and holding your hand through your journey? How would it feel knowing what you are doing in your life is helping others and inspiring them. How would it feel to be healthy, inspired and at peace with the world and have a real purpose in life? 

I used to wake up feeling so sad, depressed, lonely, in pain and desperately fearful that I would one day forget Holly. 

By learning how to start moving through my pain and grief and making sure Holly was beside me all the way I now lead a very inspiring and blessed life.

This may sound impossible to you right now but please understand that it is not impossible at all. I was where you are and I got myself through it by taking some action and creating a plan to get me through to the other side. 

I recently surveyed over 100 people and the number one fear they had about their grief was they, their family and their friends would forget their child. 

90% of the respondents said ʻforgettingʼ was their number one fear. With this information I decided to use what I had learned to help you. 

My interest in meditation and the power of the mind helped me discover the ideas and techniques you are about to learn. 

I have always had an interest in meditation and being a spiritual person. I have learnt that by taking action to change our thoughts and changing our habits we can change our life. 

This can take as little as 30 days. 

Taking action is such an important part of moving yourself from where you are to where you want to be. We can sit back and listen and know what to do but until we take the action nothing will change.

Grief can paralyze us and make us lethargic, depressed and leave us with no motivation. 

Think of a flower that is dead and a flower that is alive. What is the difference between the two? A flower that is alive is growing, moving and blooming...a flower that is dead is not growing or moving at all. We need to keep growing all the time. If we donʼt we will slowly die, just like the dead flower. 

This exercise can take as little as 5 minutes per day but the impact on your life will be enormous. From little things, big things grow. 

This is where you draw a line in the sand and decide it is time to take action. 

Here are your action steps for the next 30 days to start moving you through your grief, pain and fear of forgetting your child to a place of inspiration, peace and purpose with a child you will never forget. 

  1. Set a time everyday, preferably first thing in the morning to do this exercise. 
  2. Close your eyes and visualize in your mind a wonderful and happy memory you have of 
  3. your child. 
  4. Write down exactly what you see to the best of your ability. Be very specific. 
  5. With your eyes closed again, bring your memory into focus. 
  6. See your child looking at you with that big beautiful smile, holding your hand, pulling you close and giving you a cuddle and then a kiss on the cheek. Then you hear your child say “I love you and I will be here to help you through your life always. All you have to do is close your eyes or just think of me and I will be there for you. I love you.” 
  7. Spend about 5 minutes in that space and talk to your child and renew your relationship. 

Do this exercise EVERY morning or night (preferably both!) for the next 30 days and it will be set for the long term. 

This simple exercise is what I started doing 22 years ago and I still do it now. It changed my life and will change yours. It will help you avoid the pain of grief and sorrow and will start you on a peaceful and inspiring journey towards your new inspiring life with your child beside you everyday guiding you and always being a part of you. 

This can be a painful thing to do at first. It was for me. Donʼt let that stop you. Just know the love coming from both sides is as big as the ocean. The only quality you need to do this exercise is perseverance. Keep doing it and the love between you, the universe and your child will get you through. 

RIGHT NOW: Itʼs time to ACT so you get this in your life now...so you start doing what it takes to get you started moving through your grief and finding your place of inspiration, good health, peace and love with your child holding your hand. 

DO THIS NOW: Write down the new habit you are creating in specific detail. The memory, where it was, how old your child was, what your child was wearing, what you were feeling, what was the weather like? If you are going to do this in the morning, write down what time you will get up, how you are going to get ready, what you are going to wear and where your going to do it. 

Mentally visualize yourself doing your new habit 3 times. Imagine it in your mind clearly until you can see the entire thing. This will help you see what you have to put in place to get yourself to do it. Then put it in your calendar, and finally put a note on your fridge, your computer and your phone. UNPLUG your computer and phone and turn them off so you see it in the morning - and it reminds you to REMEMBER YOUR CHILD EVERYDAY! 

Copyright 2011 Kevin McNamara. All rights reserved. 
Please feel free to share this article with all your friends.

No comments:

Post a Comment