Friday, June 1, 2012

The Pressure of Flowers

Peanut -

Today has been a hard, hard day.  Why?  Hmmmm....The Pickle has decided Dadda is MUCH better than Momma in terms of hugs, kisses and general affection.  In addition, Momma has witnessed some disappointing behavior at the office.  On top of everything else, I still don't feel well.

Add to that the pressure of....what to do with all the flowers.  The dried, pressed versions of the beautiful flowers we received after you passed away.  After all this time, why do I feel pressure now?  We hit 500 Days Without You on June 9, 2012 that's why.  How can that be?  How can it be that 500 days will have passed and I still have a basket full of pressed flowers?  I had so many ideas, so many plans.  A shadow box.  A series of framed scenes.  Black and white photos.  Yet, they are still in the basket.

[Readers, I am asking for ideas.  Suggestions.  Does anyone have thoughts around how I can create a beautiful tribute with these dried flowers?  I've scoured Pinterest and have some vague ideas, but nothing compelling.]

Peanut, I cried for you tonight in a way I haven't experienced in weeks.  I have now realized it isn't going to get easier.  It is only going to become more a part of integrating the sorrow into everyday life.  Along with the joy brought by The Pickle.

I love and miss you terribly, sweet Peanut.  To the moon - and back!

- Momma


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