Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Once Upon A Time

Peanut -

Tonight Momma is going to tell you the bedtime story she never got to share.  The story of your family.  Of us.  Of you.  Is it a fairy tale?  Hmmm...probably not.  But, it is a work in progress.

Once upon a time a boy met a girl.  They were 13 years old during a dark, strange time in music and fashion.  The 1980s.  Over the next six years they became friends, dated and fell in love.  But then they turned 18, graduated from high school and went their separate ways.  He got married, had several children, worked a hard but steady job and eventually divorced.  She went to college, traveled the world and the US, found purpose in work, and had a brief failed marriage.

Almost twenty years later they met again, this girl and boy.  And they fell in love all over again.  They decided this wasn't just luck, it was fate, so they got married with a burning desire to have a baby.  Six months later, the girl and boy were blessed with morning sickness and a positive pregnancy test.  You.

Nine months later, a teeny, tiny Peanut was born after a quick, easy labor.  And, the girl and boy became Momma and Dadda.  The following 16.5 months were blessed.  Blissful.  Perfect.  A fairy tale.

This should be the end of the story, right?  Wrong.  Greek tragedy came barreling into our world on January 26, 2011.  Your death broke every belief, every ounce of faith Momma possessed.  Things like this don't happen to us.  To people we know.  Bad, awful, horrific things don't happen to US.  They happen to other people.  Right?  Wrong again.

You see, Peanut, Momma falsely thought we deserved happiness.  We had earned this blissful life and perfect little son.  I somehow believed we were entitled to a future with no blemishes.  No hurt.  No dark times.  No tragedy.

Yet, here we are.  Blessed with the love and memories of you.  Changed forever, for the better, because of our Peanut.  And now we have your little brother - a life, a child we never planned to have.  Our hearts forever shattered but pieced back together.  Our spirits forever fragile.  But.  We are still here.

Once upon a time a Momma and a Dadda had an amazing, special, precious little boy.  Peanut.  He was taken from earth far too soon, but the love he created defies all boundaries of space, time, reality.  His impact created The Peanut Effect, and he lives on...across the universe.  Across eternity.  Forever in his Momma's heart.

I love you, Peanut.  Beyond the moon - and back.

- Momma

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