Shine On

Peanut -

An unavoidable milestone is looming ahead of Momma.  It's one that will symbolize, for Momma, the slamming of a door.  A chapter ending.

June 9, 2012.  500 Days Without Peanut.

When June 10 dawns, we will officially be living in a world where we've been without you longer than we were blessed to be with you, holding and hugging you every day.

This date frightens me.  What it represents is something I can't quite wrap my brain around.  We should have had you with us forever.  You should have outlived us.  Instead, we continue to have birthdays.  Go to work.  Have dinner with friends.  And, we are reminded just how short 16.5 months, 500 days, truly is.  How precious and fleeting life can be.  How it is brutal, raw and without reason - but also beautiful and to be cherished and appreciated.

A few months ago, a dear friend of ours gave Momma and Dadda a candle to light next to your picture on the fireplace mantle.  I glanced at it yesterday, and it spoke to my heart:

There are some who bring a light so great to the world that even after they have gone, the light remains.

Peanut, your light was so brilliant, so gorgeous, yet so brief.  However...it continues to shine.  Your light remains and seems to grow brighter.  Your Peanut Effect is the light you have left this world, and all who love you.  And, as I've grown to realize, people didn't have to know you to love you, to partake in your Peanut Effect, to pass it along.

Many friends, family and readers have asked, "What is the future of the blog?  Will it end after 500 days?"  I don't think so.  As long as there are letters to write, memories, lessons to learn, stories to share, and ripples of your Peanut Effect across the world, I will probably continue to write.  Because, Peanut, this is how I talk to you and also plan to share you with The Bean.  Even if no one reads these pages in the future, I have them to share with you and your little brother.

Shine on, Peanut.  Shine on.

With loads of love - to the moon and back!
- Momma

Peanut pic that sits on our mantle.