This afternoon Momma was enjoying a warm summer day, browsing Facebook on the porch during a brief thunderstorm, when life without you hit me over the head. Several friends posted pictures of their kids who are the same age you would be - children playing baseball this summer, participating on swim teams and riding bicycles. All things you would - should - be doing.
The reality that your classmates will be starting kindergarten in the fall also sunk in today. A major milestone you will never realize. A reality that will only loom larger as the new school year creeps up on us.
And in the midst of these terrifying moments, a lovely white butterfly emerged. It flitted across our yard, over trees and winding around bird feeders. Every time I thought of you, it landed on the bird feeder next to my chair.
I hear you. I see you. I know...we will get through these milestones, these ongoing heartaches.
How? Because you are still with us, watching over us.
Earlier this week Momma was asked to share the one question I ask myself every day. That would have been a tough question a few years ago. But not now.
What is the question?
How do I live a life that honors you every moment of every day?
Peanut, thank you for sending butterflies to greet Momma today. I love and miss you so very much. To the moon - and back!