Sunday, March 31, 2013

Easter Blues

Peanut -

Today is Easter.  A day when Christians celebrate resurrection.  A day when little children dream about chocolate bunnies and colorful egg hunts. A day when families gather for breakfast casseroles, ham, fruit salad, a bloody mary or two, mimosas, and baked desserts. This holiday will always be a hard one for Momma.  Especially when the day blooms warm, sunny, beautiful just like it was on the one Easter we were lucky enough to spend with you.  So different from the cold, harsh gray day that was the first Easter we faced without you.

After you passed away Momma felt strongly that everyone who loved you should have some memento, some tangible piece of your existence to hold and love.  Unfortunately, Momma was a little rash when making some of those decisions.  I gave away your Easter basket, complete with a liner that had your name spelled incorrectly - Conner instead of Connor.  Oh, how I wish I had that basket today.  So that every Easter I could leave it out for the Easter Bunny right next to your little brother's basket...his basket with a liner that matches yours.  Much like your Christmas stocking, this would be a way to mark you and your presence during these holidays.  To honor you.

I gaze at one of my favorite pictures of you, taken Easter day 2010.  Your froggy onesie, bright blue eyes and brilliant smile...this photo sums up the joy and light you brought to this world.  This picture helps to lift the heaviness of Momma's heart.  To brighten the dark melancholy that has settled in today.

Peanut, I miss you.  More than words can express.  I love you my sweet Nutbrown Hare.  To the moon - and back!

- Momma

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