Friday, January 25, 2019

The Peanut Effect Revisited

Peanut -

Hi, sweetheart. It's been a year since my last post, but I still talk to you every day. Today is significant for Momma since it marks eight years since the last time I took you to daycare, received one of your amazing Peanut hugs, read your favorite book to you (Guess How Much I Love You) and heard you whisper, "Momma..." in my ear.

In the time we had on earth with you, and in the subsequent years, your spirit, love and influence softened Momma's heart. You taught me to be to be kinder. To assume good intent. And to always listen when someone needed a friend. I named it "The Peanut Effect" and it is still active in my life today - and I think it is with others as well. The world needs more of your Peanut Effect today. That is part of Momma's mission - to remind people that one act of kindness creates another, and another and they start to multiply. The Peanut Effect.

Your little brother turned seven years old last week, and I know he desperately wishes you were here to celebrate with him. He has hit milestones you never got to experience on earth but we talk a lot about what you're doing in heaven, and those are magical conversations. Every family picture he draws includes you - and it makes Momma's heart sing. More Peanut Effect.

I know you see everything we are seeing and doing, and I feel your touch, your love. Just know, we/I miss you desperately. Tomorrow is not a day we "celebrate" which is why I wanted to write this letter today - because it is full of good memories. And tonight, I will read you your favorite book. Because I know you will hear me.

Peanut, please know I cry and have moments of sadness, but also joy, because I love you so very much. How much? Guess. OK, OK - you know this one. To the moon - and back.

Love,
Momma


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