I need to acknowledge something. Momma's posts are fewer and fewer. This doesn't mean my love, grief and living for you have subsided. It's more that these emotions have become integrated into Momma's day-to-day activities. I talk about you all the time, you surround me in my office, and you are a topic of daily conversations with The Pickle. But, like today, there is still a need for this forum to share the odd moments bereaved parents grapple with in unexpected ways.
Friends, I adore, love and cherish the "first day of school" pictures I see on Facebook. I can feel your pride and adoration. And, I can't wait until we hit these milestones. What's so hard is that we were supposed to hit a very important milestone this year. Kindergarten.
Peanut, you should be starting Kindergarten along with all of your friends from The Elegant Child as well as all our our friends who had children in 2009. This year I've had to watch them start playing soccer and baseball. Softball and hockey. Guitar lessons. Camp. And now...school.
Pictures, pictures everywhere. They have bombarded Momma this week. Wherever I turn I see "First Day" pics and realize - this will be a reality every year. I can choose to embrace it or let it shut me down. So, embrace it is the choice.
The loss of you feels so new and fresh thanks to these milestones. Yet we are now over three years since your death...so few people remember and understand. Momma is reminded that this is a forever journey.
Peanut, you know what forever means? I love you, to the moon - and back. For eternity.